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Shouldn't I just be swept up in the moment? When I had my first threesomes , they were super casual. Making someone feel special, usually ensuring there is more to the interaction than just sex, and that everyone feels comfortable with each other beforehand, is key. I know I wasn't ready to see my partner with another woman until it was a woman I also had an independent relationship with — and while that likely won't always be the case, I'm glad I knew not to place myself in a situation that I wasn't ready for. Just tune into the present moment and follow your most generous and genuine sexual instincts. It's double the magnification on your sexual psychology.

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Alena. Age: 29.
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Rhea. Age: 27.
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Useful Lessons I've Learned From Having Threesomes (So Far)

The point of a threesome isn't to please your partner or to blindly check something off your bucket list — the same rules as usual for good sex apply: everyone's total enthusiastic consent, including yours — is mandatory. The third time, we talked a little more beforehand about the fantasy, but not as sufficiently as I'd thought about boundaries and preferences, based on how the guest felt afterwards. If you and your partner are having threesomes for the wrong reasons , my guess is that those problems in the relationship would be accentuated as well.

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