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I have experienced sexual assault and trauma in my life. This comes from guys who don't necessarily have a problem with my weight -- they just have a problem with fat people. Dating as a polyamorous woman brings with it a lifetime's worth of misconceptions and jealousies. If I try to talk to you about fatphobia, about discrimination, about the challenges I face as a fat woman in the world, please don't try to comfort me by telling me people don't mean it, that maybe I'm misreading the situation, the the world isn't out to get me. If you care more about my weight than I do, we're going to have a problem. I don't know what the motivation is for guys who try to get me on their shoulders at concerts or attempt to lift me gently into bed.

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Ana. Age: 29.
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Dudes tend to assume that I haven't dated a lot in my life -- or the opposite, that I'm always up for casual sex because I'm desperate for attention.

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Miranda. Age: 28.
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This doesn't mean we can't try new and interesting positions during sex. I have a therapist, thanks. I have experienced sexual assault and trauma in my life. But it does mean I expect you to avoid throwing my body around in the bedroom without my explicit permission.

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